Just reading about this brilliantly conceived new service that's opening right on time for New Year in Ballyfermot, Called The Rage Room, it's a place you can go to vent all your anger and frustration and unleash your violent inner demons in return for an entry fee of only €35 a head.
For your money you get twenty minutes of privacy to batter to pieces and utterly fucking destroy up to twenty-five small and three medium sized smashable items of your choice. Longer sessions are available for one to three individuals aged 18 and above. Larger rooms can be requested for group sessions. You can even bring your own items: that printer that's been trying your patience the last six months by printing off your letters backwards? Kill it with force. That fucking telly that keeps going fuzzy every time it shows flowing water? Try the chainsaw. That poxy little mobile phone that never does what you tell it to? Take a hammer to it. Take a fucking baseball to it. Pulverize the little bastard and scream in glee at your own pace in total privacy and comfort.
They'll give you protective gear to wear: a full body hazmat suit and facial covers, so no danger of hurting yourself. Take a lump hammer with you. Or a hurley stick. A baseball bat. Anything you like, even a big fuck off chainsaw. Wreck everything in front of you. Scream at the top of your lungs. Add a soundtrack by listening to your own favourite music whether it's death metal from Norway or Crystal Swing from Tipperary. Mangle everything. Lay into your old tube telly while screaming along with Ozzy Osbourne or Daniel O'Donnell. That old medium wave radio on the kitchen shelf that keeps buzzing whenever you switch on the microwave? Kill it. With extreme prejudice. Then teach the fucking microwave a lesson with a sledge hammer.
It's the ultimate gift. Book a few hours for the whole family. Or have a couple's night out: you get to smash up her fitness DVDs and she gets to mangle your old video cassette collection. Have a group session with your workmates: glue a photo of your boss to a flat screen telly and give the fucker hell with a sharp screwdriver and a length of bicycle chain. It's all good.